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Unwittingly Casting The First Stone?

When asked if you see yourself as offensive, most people will respond “no”.  Take note.  When someone demonstrates trust and confidence in you by expressing hurt initiated by your actions or words, if you fail to address the feelings expressed to you will likely compound the hurt and be viewed as offensive.  By doing so, we unwittingly cast the first stone. This repeated action will undermine that person’s trust in you over time.  It will likely alter your image in their eyes.  Few people are willing to put their trust in someone viewed as hurtful or insensitive.  Your unwillingness to soothe the pain is a demonstrated act of insensitivity.  This offensive behavior causes communication breakdown and allows feelings to become compressed as they go repeatedly unaddressed.  The oversight or action of neglect, can be the catalyst to a host of negative interactions. 

When someone is angrily defends their mistaken position or view, the best course of action is to avoid discussing the misunderstanding at that time. 2 Timothy 2: 23-24 exhorts us not to become entangled in “foolish stupid arguments”, but to be kind.  Taking the time to address the emotion will soothe the source of the pain. 

In John 8: 4-11 when the woman caught in adultery was brought before Jesus as a means to trap him, he did not become angry and retaliate.  He placed his focus on the woman who was obviously hurt.  With calm intelligence, he then removed the focus from her and placed it on the imperfection of her accusers.  As he stood, removed from all accusers, he expressed that he had no condemnation for her.  He then encouraged her to step away from her sinful life.  In like fashion we should remove the focus from self and place it on the person in pain.  Your displayed sensitivity will cause you to be seen as just that “sensitive”.  Sensitivity will soften even the hardest of hearts.  Want to learn more about how to become more sensitive and less offensive with your reactions?  Pick up a copy of “I Hear You” today.

A Look Inside "I Hear You"

I Hear You Passage and illustrations

It behooves us to become vigilant in regards to the negative elements we inject into our relationships via the things we say and do. Some fail to look and therefore never discover the ineffective elements in their communication. They simply stand idly by as their relationships are repeatedly consumed by the cancer of ineffective communication.


Communication Models

effective communication vs. Ineffective communication

Is Your Communication Hindered by Anxiety?

In Genesis 2:18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him.” Verses 21-22 explain, while Adam was sleeping, God took one of his ribs and created woman from it.

God also blessed them with the gift of language so they could communicate.  It is through this gift we are able to use words to express feelings and our intent.  Language enables us to provide clarification. The emotions generated through the use of language help to solidify the bonds in our most personal relationships.  When you consider our natural reaction to a child or adult we see experiencing pain, it becomes evident that we were also blessed with an instinctive desire to soothe pain and offer comfort.

However, Satan subtlely uses clever devices to undermine this process. Pain is one such tool used to undermine Gods process and create division.  Accumulated minor offenses or perceived hurts are extremely effective at causing division. 

Once divided we are more susceptible to other negative influences.  The anxiety generated from the threat of emotional pain can cause us to develop protective mechanisms which disrupt communication and lead to emotional isolation. 

If you are unable to identify the effects of anxiety on your communication, the battle for your contentment and joy has already been won.  Your relationship may already be under attack.

Do you feel isolated in your relationship?

Does tension and anger play an active role in the manner which you communicate?  

Are you unwilling to communicate the things which offend you in fear that the conversation will become and emotional atom bomb?

If you answered yes, anxiety may play a very active part of your communication.

Do you want to take control and eliminate the negative aspects of the way you communicate?

Do you want to gain an understanding of how to replace the joy that seems to be slipping away from you over time? 

If so, pick up a copy of “I Hear You” and begin nurturing your relationship back to health.