Peter E. Dooley
Can every marriage be saved?
Author and marriage healer, Peter E. Dooley, believes so. Born in Kingston, Jamaica and raised in New Jersey, Mr. Dooley has always had an affinity for understanding interpersonal relationships. This fascination began at the age of nineteen when he sat in his first Marriage Maintenance class. “I remember I used to sit and listen to adults who were struggling in their relationships.” Perhaps this fascination began because he never witnessed this type of relationship between his own parents. Mrs. Dooley was a struggling single parent of six children – Peter holding the position as the youngest. His mother arrived in the US in search of a better life for her family and over several years, she was able to bring her children to the states, two by two.
Peter E. Dooley has a thirst for knowledge and is a road scholar in the area of communication and resolving issues that are cancerous to relationships. Long before he penned his first book, Peter’s advice was highly sought after. His natural ability to connect with people and get to the heart of the matter made him the ideal candidate at Snellville Church of Christ, where he currently serves as a deacon. Peter was instrumental in establishing classes for couples desiring to build stronger relationships.
In his first book, I Hear You, Peter lays the groundwork for rehabilitating marriages and other interpersonal relationships. Using life's lessons as his modus operandi, Peter defines the five personality types, classifying himself as a composite of both Diplomat and Sponge. He addresses the obstacle most couples face in communicating, as well as the emotional hurt that couples experience as a result of not being heard. Peter’s book establishes communication ground rules and methodically lights the path to emotional healing.
His relationship with his wife is one of deep adoration. He calls her his soulmate, but doesn’t discount the fact that all marriages, no matter how equally yoked, can experience a “failure to communicate.” He believes the absence of communication is detrimental to any relationship and there are critical moments in life where a relationship is challenged. One of them is the introduction of children. As the father of thirty-eight-year-old twins and a teenage son, Peter understands how to navigate this transition. Having a conversation regarding each person’s role and responsibility is critical.
Peter’s book was written to curtail not only the number of divorces but the number of people who stay in unhealthy marriages. “I don’t believe in divorce,” Peter emphatically states. “Outside of abuse, I believe all marriages can be saved.” Peter shares that he sees and thinks differently than most, making his book a refreshing perspective on relationship building. “Marriage teaches you how to love – to love like Christ loved the church. It really bothers me to see couples in pain. I Hear You was birthed after Peter was unable to find a single tool that would:
- Lead individuals into root cause analysis
- Attach the root cause to current behaviors or present compensatory mechanisms
- Then provide a solution that was based on Godly principles
That motivator, coupled with the frequent requests for help from couples, sparked I Hear You – both the course and the book. The program was piloted successfully because it was designed to meet the needs of everyday couples. “Changing behavior is possible but it takes time, since time was also required to form them.” Peter adds, “Reversing this behavior is possible – as all things are possible through Christ.”